Breastfeeding often brings to mind the image of a baby feeding directly from the mother. But this method (called direct breastfeeding, or nursing) is only one way to breastfeed.
Pumping is just as much breastfeeding as nursing is. Experts define breastfeeding as simply feeding a baby breastmilk, which includes both nursing and pumping.
So why pump instead of nurse? The simplest answer: either the mother wants to or has to. When a child is in the NICU, they can’t always nurse directly from the breast. Pumping is crucial during this period for a mother to be able to breastfeed her child that might be on oxygen, or otherwise unable to latch. A baby might also be born tongue or lip-tied, which is a condition that can inhibit the baby from nursing.
Though both methods are completely valid ways of feeding your baby, there is a social stigma around pumping, whether it be pumping in tandem with direct breastfeeding or exclusively pumping. Feelings of guilt and inadequacy are extremely common, no matter the reason for pumping.
If you’re a pumping mom struggling with these feelings, you’re far from alone. Everyone’s breastfeeding journey is different, and no one way is better than the other as long as the baby is getting the nutrients they need. We surveyed six mothers about their experience with pumping, learning why they breastfed through pumping, how they felt about it and the advice they had based on their experience.
Taylor (25, Early Childhood Educator)
Sometimes pumping is a good way to transition both yourself and the baby into exclusive direct breastfeeding. Taylor said that she “used pumping as a bridge when [she] was overwhelmed with the new sensations of breastfeeding.” And since Taylor worked while breastfeeding, she pumped in tandem with direct breastfeeding to give them food when she was away from them.
A huge benefit of pumping is being able to measure how much your baby is eating, which Taylor said was an aspect of pumping she enjoyed. “Being able to measure it gave me a level of satisfaction and security about how well I’m able to feed my baby,” she said. The downside to this was that, when her supply fluctuated, that feeling of satisfaction dwindled. Apart from this, Taylor said that she didn’t experience feelings of depression, although there was a sense of “getting through it” to feed the babies.
“I cannot stress enough how important it is to lean on and learn from other pumping parents and lactation experts,” Taylor said. “If not for the countless hours of research, proper fitting equipment (which often isn’t included in the pump packages), advice from experts and the mental discipline of sticking to it, I would not have been able to continue.”
Chrissy (30, Registered Nurse)
In Chrissy’s case, she had to pump because her child had a lip and tongue tie. Even after it was resolved, they kept to exclusive pumping because the baby still had trouble latching. Chrissy found that it was nice to have a fast letdown and know how much her child was eating, so she kept exclusively pumping for her next time.
However, Chrissy expressed that exclusive pumping was “mentally and emotionally exhausting” because of the Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex, a condition that causes negative feelings either right before or after letdowns. Despite this, she continues to pump to avoid clogs and is even able to donate excess milk to other moms and babies who need it.
Lauren (37, Project Manager)
Lauren pumped with both of her children for different reasons. Her first son was on oxygen in the NICU and was too small to breastfeed. The second son had a tongue tie, so he had to learn how to breastfeed after that was resolved. Both times, Lauren said she felt disconnection, especially when her husband did the feedings so Lauren could pump. “It felt like a space between me and my baby. But it also felt important. Like I have control and am empowered to make sure my child is fed. But I did feel an emotional distance and concern of connection.”
Another complication for Lauren was getting the right-sized pump. At first, pumping was “excruciatingly painful,” until she saw a TikTok for the Lactation Hub sizing kit and thought, “What have I got to lose?” After finding the right sizing insert, pumping became infinitely easier. “It made me feel actually happy to pump,” she said. “I didn’t dread it. And there was no one at all that told me about it…I’m so upset that proper sizing and everything was never taught to me. There was lots of help with our breastfeeding difficulties to overcome those, but with pumping difficulties, it felt like resources were so few.”
Kelsey (22, Photographer)
For the past six months, Kelsey has exclusively pumped. She did try direct breastfeeding, but “the mixture between having stimulation issues and [the] baby having a hard time latching [was] emotional turmoil.”
Kelsey has a “love-hate relationship with pumping” for two reasons. One is that she has a dysphoric milk ejection reflex, which makes pumping “a nightmare.” The other is finding the right pump; she tried five different pumps until she found one that worked for her. “With all that being said though,” said Kelsey. “I love that my body is solely the reason my baby is thriving and healthy. I may not love pumping because of the emotional and physical stress, but knowing she is well-fed is enough to drive me to keep going.”
“Pumping is NOT for everyone. Breastfeeding in any form isn’t for everyone and that’s 100% okay. As they say, fed is best. I wish I could go back to the early postpartum days and tell myself it was all going to be okay, and that supplementing with formula is normal and perfectly okay. I wish I knew more about breastfeeding before I gave birth though. I didn’t realize how much it took out of me both mentally and physically.”
Zoe (28, Outpatient Nurse)
Zoe started out tandem pumping, wanting “peace of mind” that the baby was getting enough milk. When the baby was three months old, she went back to work and switched to exclusive pumping. Zoe found that the pumping community on TikTok helped ease the worries she had: “In the beginning, it was so hard to accept that for my baby to receive breast milk, I had to pump, but around the start of the transition I started posting on TikTok and loved the exclusive pumping videos and community I saw! It changed my mind and showed I was stronger than I thought for deciding to exclusively pump.”
“One of the most difficult things for me in my pumping journey was finding the right pump for on the go, I went through countless pumps until I found the one that worked best. Each person responds differently to pumps, which was something I wasn’t aware of in the beginning. It can be discouraging having a not-so-great pump day but the ounces you pump do not define how you are as a mom!”
Claudia (29, Nonprofit Manager)
Claudia had planned on direct breastfeeding her baby for the first four weeks, but she was scheduled to graduate from her master’s program ten days after giving birth. “After years of working on my research,” she said, “I wanted to opportunity to walk at the ceremony.” She got started on pumping and bottle feeding, and when the time came for her graduation, her family was able to take care of the baby during the ceremony. “After that,” Claudia said, “We decided to start giving him one bottle of pumped milk a day so others could join in, and I would pump during that time so I didn’t miss a feed.” A few weeks later, her new family moved across the country. Pumping allowed them to freeze a supply of milk for Claudia’s son so he could be comfortably fed by both parents on their seven-day road trip.
Thanks to the coaching of Claudia’s lactation consultant, Claudia didn’t feel overwhelmed when she started pumping. Pumping was a very positive experience for her. She said, “I think being able to actually see my milk production (which prior to that had just been going directly to baby’s mouth from nursing) filled me with so much unexpected joy and pride that my body was actually doing this incredible thing for my child.” Since her baby will be going into daycare soon, she’s been pumping to make a stockpile of frozen milk. Though this is sometimes tiring, the help and encouragement of her partner help her keep going.
“What I learned most about pumping and nursing was to have grace with myself,” said Claudia. “If I didn’t pump enough on a particular day to freeze for later, it wasn’t the end of the world. Rest and sleep were more important and feeding my son was the top priority over any stashes. Also, I learned to not be so precious about my pumped milk.”
Conclusion
Like direct breastfeeding, pumping comes with its own physical and emotional challenges. If you find that you’re struggling with pumping, know that there are people and resources available to help you. It is just as much a valid way to feed your baby as nursing, and has its unique benefits, like being able to stockpile and measure what your baby is eating. Remember that no matter how you breastfeed, you are providing for your baby and that’s what matters.
Very special thanks to Taylor, Chrissy, Lauren, Kelsey, Zoe and Claudia for sharing their pumping experience with us!
For any mamas out there wanting to read more about pumping, here are a few resources:
Bethany Brewer is an Orlando-based creative writer and an editorial intern at Connecting Mothers Initiative. She has a B.A. in English from the University of Central Florida and uses it to write blogs, short stories, and video game scripts.
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